Where Are Your Ninjas?: Day 5, Part 2: Odaiba

In keeping with the Day 5 theme of pinballing through the city to the borderlands, we made our way from the Ghibli Museum in Mitaka to Odaiba, which was referred to in the guidebooks as the "Coney Island of Tokyo." Hell to the yeah-uh. I f'ing LOVE Coney Island. Crackheads and tilt-a-whirls? Freak-shows and hot dogs? Bring it. BRING IT. I'm ready for...

Hey, what the hell? It's clean here. And buildings are made of materials other then driftwood and the ghosts of orphans that powered the Cyclone. There isn't one bearded lady here. I am surprised. Obviously, the person who wrote the guidebook had never been to Coney Island.

I wasn't disappointed though. Not at all. Odaiba was great. I thought the Coney Island designation was a bit misleading because while it had gaming and rides and such, it was much like the rest of Tokyo; ultra-modern and multi-faceted. Parts of Coney Island still look like a circus from 1951. And I say that with nothing but love in my heart. We move forward.

Background: Odaiba is a large man-made island sitting in Tokyo Bay. It's been converted from a defensive structure to a full on business/leisure district. You can get there from Tokyo one of two main ways. One is to cross the Rainbow Bridge, and the other...drum roll...

Is a MONORAIL. YES PLEASE. You cannot possibly convince me that Tokyo isn't located in some bizarre time/space pocket that combines the future with the present. It has a functional, fully operational Monorail. And this Monorail (the Yurikamome Line) had a stop directly connected to our hotel. Japan wins.

Monorail. See that? One rail. And see that guy standing at the front? Huh? HE'S NOT THE DRIVER. THERE IS NO DRIVER. ROBOT-POWERED. MONORAIL. Sha-BAM.

Look how calm we are on the robot-powered Monorail.

Here's us passing underneath the Rainbow Bridge, connecting Tokyo to Odaiba, as well as Midgard to Asgard. Look it up, or ask someone who got the Cthulu reference back on Day 2 what is the hell it is I just said.

Tugboats in Tokyo Bay as we draw closer to our destination.

Where we are greeted by Lady Liberty. Oh boy. This...this was awkward. Turns out we'd been in Lower Manhattan this whole week. No wonder people were looking at me funny when I tried to speak Japanese. But wait, that can't be right, I took a 13 hour plane ride. I was confused. There's only one thing to do when you're confused.

Ask a robot. They'll either answer or try to destroy you. Just keep asking until you find one that isn't programmed for murder. Turns out we were in fact in Japan. Whew!

Always good to double-check. Let's look at stuff.

Here's Blue Snoopy, outside the Fuji Building. Is Blue Snoopy his actual name? It is now.

Lunch at Big Chef in Decks, the main amusement center in Odaiba. It tasted way better then it looked.

Decks a wholly owned subsidiary of Happy Flex-Straw.

Post-lunch walk through Decks lead us to various shops of various quality, some of which were located in a part of the complex that for a reason that completely escapes me, was modeled after what pleasure-mall designers think Hong Kong looks like. This is what they came up with. Bang-up job guys. I was almost as confused here as when I saw the Statue of Liberty.

Eh. Close enough.

A more appropriate name for Muscle Park would be Judgment Dome. It sounds like a sweet place that would have batting cages and video games, but really it's a oddly designed place where you pay people to tell you how slow you can throw a ball or how agile you aren't through a series of humiliating, boring "games". Not surprisingly, no pictures were allowed inside, probably because no one wants a stranger documenting their failed attempt at kicking a soccer ball through a hoop held by a cartoon panda.

Also, for place that was supposed to promote activity and athletics, it had a place to eat inside it called Monster Burger, where literally the only thing on the menu was a series of monster burgers, one of which was served on a bed of waffles. So yeah, come here to eat a waffle burger, then throw something and try not to puke.

We escaped the Shame-a-torium that was Muscle Park and ran into the loving arms of the Sega Joypolis. That's the actual name. It claimed to be the largest indoor amusement center in Tokyo, and I had no reason to doubt them. Problem was we couldn't get through this door. What to do?

OMG IT'S LIKE A SPACESHIP AIRLOCK. OMG OMG.

YES.

Virtual Reality AND Interactivity. Believe it.

This is Halfpipe Canyon. Next to it was a ride called Spinning Bullet. If you're prone to seizures, this wasn't the place for you.

Carisa spent approximately $500 on this game.

This is a combo Cylon/Dalek/Locomotive. I've never been more frightened.

While I had my back turned, Carisa wandered over to the new House of the Dead game, which is based around her totally rational fear of zombies. I don't know who gave her the gun, but when I came over seven people were dead and she was screaming. They were surprisingly cool about this. Happens more then you think, apparently.

We finally got outside and started on our way back to Shiodome. Made a few stops.